If there is one thing I’ve always known about men it’s that they are dirty, disgusting creatures. Once it was the simple knowledge that “boys are icky” but now I know the true depths of the male kind’s filth, and I’m not just referencing your sexual perversions!
No, with this post I am going to attempt to teach you unkempt apes a lesson in basic personal hygiene.
Open each of the links below and take the time to read them all. I am sure you’ll find there is much you do not know about your body and how to properly clean and care for it. As a sub your body is your second most important asset (your first being your mind, and third your wallet) so pay attention to this lesson, especially if you ever hope to serve me in person… or be anything other than a nasty pig, reeking and covered in grime.
Read up, and start making changes to your daily habits! Write yourself notes and post them all over the house, set alarms on your phone, do whatever you can to remind yourself to brush your teeth more often, shower daily, clip your nails regularly, and generally try to be a cleaner, healthier person.
Exactly what will work best for you will vary. Some of you may need to shower daily, with heavy deodorant and cologne to not stink, while others may get dry skin from showering too often and will have to shower every other day. But there are important habits like properly cleaning your ears, washing your feet, caring for your nails and hair, shaving properly, manscaping and more that will greatly improve your personal hygiene.
Daily Personal Hygiene for Male Subs
How to Take a Shower, Step-By-Step
1. Make sure you have everything you need for your daily shower. If you are shaving you should have a sharp clean razor, shaving cream and, if you use it, aftershave. If you are washing your hair (which you should do at least 1 time per week!) you should have both shampoo and conditioner. For every shower you will need soap, a wash cloth or body scrubber, q-tips, a toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss and a clean, dry towel.
2. Strip naked in your bathroom, placing your dirty laundry in the dirty laundry bin/hamper. Make sure you have clean, freshly washed clothing neatly set where they will stay dry and clean while you shower. Note: I also highly recommend you use a mat on your bathroom floor, so when you step out of the shower you do not drip water everywhere like a messy bitch.
3. Turn on the shower, get the water running at the right temperature for you. Generally you should take warm-to-hot showers. It relaxes your muscles, aids bloodflow, and helps clean the filth from your dirty body. Occasionally, like when you are horny and need to calm the fuck down because you are not allowed to cum, you may take cool-to-cold showers.
4. Step into the shower, taking care to not slip and fall. Especially for you older perverts, this is a very real danger. Watch it! I suggest having a shower stool or seat, something to sit on while you wash. Even I have one, it makes it so much easier while shaving, washing your feet, or just to sit and relax in the steamy water. (And now you are thinking about me in the shower, cut it out, this is about you learning how to wash your filthy male body!)
5. Make sure you are wet from head to toe. Give yourself a few minutes to warm up, let your pores open up and the grime soften on your skin. This is the perfect time to brush your teeth! Just grab your toothbrush and apply toothpaste to it before you step into the shower. Of course, you can brush your teeth before or after the shower, but this is how I recommend doing it.
6. If you are going to wash your hair you should wet your hair and wash it at this point. To wash your hair get it fully wet then apply a generous amount of shampoo. Massage the shampoo into your scalp first, making sure the roots of your hair are soapy. Then work the soap into the ends of your hair. Take your time to scrub your head with your hands. Rise throughly. Then apply a generous amount of conditioner. Rub it into your roots and then work it into the ends of your hair. Let the conditioner set on your hair while you wash your face. Skip this step for if you are not washing your hair. Hair should be washed at least once per week, piggy. Wash that nasty mop on your head!
7. Wash your face. Use face wash and make sure to get behind your ears, under your chin, and all the way up to your hairline. Rise your face throughly. Rise your hair of conditioner if you have it in your hair.
8.. Get your body scrubber or wash cloth soapy. Apply a generous amount and get it sudsy, bubbles are good! Then, starting with your shoulders and neck, scrub your whole body. Go slowly, making sure to scrub every inch of your body. Get your neck, shoulders, arms, underarms, back, waist, chest, stomach, belly button, butt crack, wash your nasty balls, scrub your legs and between each of your toes. Just letting your feet soak in the water isn’t good enough, actually wash them.
9. Rinse off. If you need to shave you would shave at this point. Make sure to use a new razor each time and some sort of shaving cream or oil. Rise again after shaving. Take your time and make sure warm water runs over your whole body, every inch, so there is no soap or shaving cream left on you.
10. Turn the shower’s water temperature down to cool. Rinse again in cool to cold water. This helps close your pores, it’s an important step few remember to do, so do it, dummy!
11. Turn off the shower and step out. Pat dry with the towel, do not rub! Rubbing damages your skin, patting dry safely dries you without causing over-dryness or damaged skin. This is especially important for you sissies out there, you want to have soft skin as a feminized sissy slave!
12. Clean your ears with q-tips, carefully. Do not try to go far into your ear, clean by wiping with the q-tip just on the opening of your ear, but don’t try to probe deep inside. I’m sure you already have enough trouble listening to me without puncturing an eardrum.
13. Put your toothbrush away or brush your teeth if you did not do it in the shower. Then floss. Do not skip flossing, you disgusting pig. That fuck hole in your face should be clean at all times!
14. Get dressed in your clean dry clothing. Make sure to apply deodorant and cologne as needed. I also recommend lotion for dry skin. If your toenails or fingernails need clipping this is the time to do it, when they are soft and easily clipped. Gross, unclipped and unclean nails are one of my major pet peeves.
Sissies can make their shower time part of their daily feminization training by using only women’s products with girly scents, lighting candles and making sure to shave their legs, underarms and pubic hair, too.
Remember, shower daily and always put on clean dry clothing. It may sound so simple, but I am sure there are many of you who, if you are honest with yourself and with me, do not already do this. Start doing it now! Set yourself goals to learn good habits, especially personal hygiene. It will not only make you a healthier happier person, but you will be little less grotesque to me.
This post doesn’t even cover how to dress to not look like a disgusting slob, proper haircuts for men so you don’t look like a total fucking disaster, how to manscape, how to clean your house (hint: pillows need to be replaced every 3-6 months, more often if you hump them & fill them with your spunk!) or how to keep your sex toys clean (because I’m sure you have dildos covered in crusted butt-juice and lube knocking around somewhere). If you’re lucky I’ll take the time to write more posts like this so you can continue to learn how to stop being such a filthy pig.
What did you learn from this post? Do you have any other personal hygiene tips for subbies and slaves? How will you change your personal hygiene routine after reading this?