Today what seems like far too many people tune into watch fully grown men in spandex slam into each other and claim it’s totally NOT sexual. If you hadn’t noticed I am not exactly a sports person, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not interested in learning!
I’ll make my first attempt at giving a shit about football (or gridiron, as I was taught to call it when living in New Zealand) this year for the “Big Game.” I’ll watch the game at the same time you bitches are watching and live tweet my thoughts and kinky instructions for you boys to follow at home to make things a little more interesting.
As an Washingtonian I’ll be rooting for Seattle, so here’s my little proposal for you horny hand humpers.
If Seattle wins you bitches will have to congratulate me with a tribute.
So if Denver wins you boys will get permission to cum!
Tune into my Twitter live feed and make sure to stock up on clips before the Big Game starts! Then you can spend half time watching my clips!
But remember, no cumming until the game is over, and only if Denver wins. If Seattle wins you’ll have to send me a tribute and deny yourself, like a fucking loser.
Send tribute & buy clips: