Many of you want to be able to tribute more, spoil me more often and buy more videos and photos, but you just cannot afford it. Every day you sit and look at your bank account and have to restrict your spending so you can pay your bills and not end up on the street, and I know it drives you mad. If only you could figure out how to save more, to live a more frugal life, then you could have hundreds more dollars a year to spend on me!
So I will help you out. All of this information is out there on the web somewhere already. None of this is new, it’s just a lot of information organized and written specifically for sub-males wishing to save money so that they can spend more on the Goddess they worship.
Click below to read the full post (If you are looking at this on the Chronicles page there will be a link below, if you are already on the post itself then there will be no link, just a huge list.) and start saving now!
How To Save Money & Have More Cash to Spend on Me!
Bills & living costs
- Get rid of our cable & expensive TV packages. There is no need for you to be paying for 500 channels when you could simply get a NetFlix account for a few bucks a month and rent what you cannot find online for free. Many TV shows can be found on youtube, hulu and other free sites. It’s a waste to be spending money on a big cable package when you could be watching less & paying less.
- Cancel club memberships. Gym memberships, golf, country clubs, anything you pay dues for can be canceled. Unless it is a club you actually attend on a weekly basis and find yourself getting a lot out of while paying little to have access to it, you can cancel your membership. Paying for a gym you never go it is just stupid! Work out from home!
- Cancel magazine subscriptions. Don’t just not renew when the time comes, call them up and cancel and ask for a refund for the rest of the year. Many of the articles in these print magazines are available online for free. It’s just a waste of money and a clutter around your home.
- Look for a cheaper place to live If you can find a good job in a cheaper place to live you can totally change the way you spend money and live. Moving to another state can mean spending thousands less in rent and bills. This depends on what you do for work and what your situation is where you are at now. This is one that must be carefully researched and thought out but could have the biggest effect.
- Stop paying for haircuts. Get some trimmers or clippers and start doing it yourself. After a few times it will pay for the trimmers/clippers and after a while you will even get good at it and stop looking like a dumbass who cuts his own hair! Every time you pay for a haircut you are spending money you don’t need to be spending.
- Go through your cell phone bill with a fine tooth comb. I’m sure you are paying more than you need to for extra text messages or data usage. Cut back, pay less!
- Always ask for fees to be waived, for a deal, a lower price. Learning to haggle and insist on not paying fees for things can really go far! It’s amazing how often you will have fees waived and your price lowered if you learn to ask nicely but firmly.
- Get on an auto payment plan for anything you can. Often you can save by just being on an auto payment plan instead of paying whenever you remember.
- Cut out your vacation budget. There are plenty of local sights you haven’t seen that you can go explore for free.
- Cook for yourself, and plan all your meals. Check out your grocery stores sales and plan meals around what is cheap. Right now chicken might be dirt cheap while in 2 weeks it’s pork. Plan carefully and watch sales and use coupons!
- Instead of eating frozen meals or going out to eat when you don’t have much in the house, plan ahead and cook for yourself. Cook large meals and eat the leftovers for a day or two afterward to make the most of your buck. If you buy ingredients in bulk you can cook a huge amount (IE, 20 servings of spaghetti, 4 huge casseroles) and split it up into servings sized for you and freeze the rest. Instead of eating pre-packaged frozen meals you will have yummy frozen leftovers!
- Eat an inexpensive, healthy, and hearty breakfast. Eating oatmeal or grits in the morning is a great way to save on expensive cereal and will give you more energy than a spendy cup of coffee.
- Invest in a deep freezer so you can buy in bulk and make huge batches of food to freeze and save.
- Don’t eat as much meat. When you do eat meat go for chicken and pork instead of beef. It’s healthier (live longer and serve me always!) and cheaper.
- Use lists when shopping. Do not impulse buy. Go into the store knowing what you are getting and come out with what is on the list, and that doesn’t mean just add stuff to the list while in the store. Set the list, go in, shop. When you come out you will have saved by not greedily buying things that sound good at the time.
- Obey the thirty day rule. Thinking about making an unnecessary or large purchase for yourself? Write down what it is you want to buy then wait a minimum of thirty days. Once you have waited if the purchase is still something you feel you need/want then you can seriously consider getting it. I highly suggest you ask for my advice before making any large purchases.
- If you are buying new appliances make sure you invest in ones that use less energy/water, etc. so that over time you spend less even if it costs more to begin with.
- Compare prices when shopping. Even when buying groceries you can save a ton by finding a store that is a bit cheaper, but especially when buying any electronics or big ticket items.
- Use coupons. Compare coupons. Sometimes you can even get stuff for free if you find it cheaper at one store than another is advertizing. Take the time and save!
- Buy used. Garage sales, second hand stores, even goodwill/salvation army has dirt cheap clothing, furniture, games and more. It’s not like you need nice new things anyway!
- Remove your credit card numbers from online accounts that are not Kinkbomb or Clips4Sale. There is no need for you to be able to easily shop for yourself online. It’s just too easy to impulse buy and waste money when you can click and pay for stuff that isn’t worship videos and tributes.
- Do your holiday shopping right after the holiday and shop for my birthday year-round. This doesn’t just work for Christmas. After every major holiday stores have big sales to get rid of the stuff from that holiday so they can prep for the next. Take advantage of this and buy your mothers day gifts, valentines day gifts and whatever else when the price is right. Even if it is a gift for me you can have it sent to yourself and save it up until the right time and then send it to me. Don’t buy when the prices are highest! Wait, save, and then when you give me a great gift that you managed to spend little on I will be very pleased with you.
- Use generic and store brands. The amount you will save by not buying expensive name brands and going for the cheap stuff will shock you! Think of all that extra cash in my hands.
- Is it time to buy a car? Perhaps you have a newer car and could trade it in for another. If you are looking into getting a new vehicle then make sure you are looking into a fuel efficient car. What you can save over time in gas makes a huge difference.
- Use a basic razor to shave instead of an expensive electricity one.
- Save on bathroom products. Buying store brand or whatever is cheapest will help cut down on the costs of keeping yourself clean. Fancy face washes or shaving creams are frivolous.
- Check your tires for air! Keeping your tires filled with air to the recommended PSI will save on gas.
- Drive the speed limit. Speeding will cost you more in gas and when you get ticketed or cash your car it will really cost you more!
Banking & Insurance
- Switch bank accounts. There are many banks out there that aren’t charging fees at ATMs & even let you have free accounts. Stop paying the bank when you could be paying me.
- Call your credit card company and ask for a rate reduction. Take any of your credit cards that are carrying a balance, flip them over, and call the number on the back. Tell them that you want an interest rate reduction or you’ll take your business elsewhere. If the first person you talk to won’t do it, ask to talk to a supervisor. If you have a $5,000 balance, even a 3% rate reduction saves you $150 a year.
- Re-asses what you are paying for your insurance (if you have insurance of any kind!) and do some research into how you can pay less. Many people have plans that are much more expensive than needed.
- Make a visual reminder of the debt you are in and/or how much you want to save. A big bar you fill in to show how much you have left to pay off/save will help keep you focused on your goals.
- Look into consolidating your loans, including your student loans. It’s easy to save $100+ per year by paying a little less in interest over multiple student loans.
Changes in your daily life & utilizing your community:
- Turn off the television. There are many benefits to watching less television: less exposure to ads, more time to focus on other things, less electrical use, and less time sitting around on your ass when you could be doing something useful… While everyone likes a little TV now and again, cutting back will help.
- Do you smoke, drink, gamble or have another habit you can cut back on? I’m sure you do, almost everyone does and this is one of the first places you need to be concentrating. It’s easier to give up one addiction for another so just watch one of my videos or send me a tribute every time you get a fix for a smoke, a drink or feel that itch to place a bet. Often these bad habits cause health problems and other stress in your life, cutting back on them will make a huge difference in your savings and in your general health/happiness.
- Stop going out. The only time you should be in a bar or restaurant is when you are required to be there because of work or family. When you find yourself in a bar or restaurant you should drink water or a fountain soda, and eat whatever is inexpensive on the menu. If you eat out when you are at work or away from home you should remember to pack a lunch or some snacks. It’s much cheaper to make a snack and bring it than to eat out, and healthier!
- Drink water. Spending less on soda, beer, coffee, etc will go a long way to being able to have more to spend on me. Drinking a large glass of water before each meal will also help you save by not eating as much. An extra advantage to this one is that you will also get healthier! Like most everyone else you are most likely dehydrated right now. Go drink some water!
- Do you find yourself bored, restless, wanting to be useful? Join a non-religious volunteering program. Work at a soup kitchen, offer to help at a omen’s shelter, find something in your community where you can really help people. At the end of the day you will have gotten some exercise, helped some people who needed it and made me proud!
- Learn how to dress simply and intelligently. A few decent basic pants and shirts is all you need to mix and match for an almost unlimited number of outfits. There is rarely a need for you to buy new clothing! I’m the one with the crazy huge closet full of way too much clothing, not you.
- Tell your co-workers, friends and loved ones that you are working on saving and getting out of debt. There is no need to tell them you are saving so you can spend more on me. Everyone understands the need to save, so tell people that you are cutting back without getting into detail and they will understand. With the people around you knowing you are saving they will hopefully call you out when they see you spending too much and won’t pressure you to go out with them or spend money where you don’t need to spend.
- Wash your hands! Every time you get a chance to use a free sanitation station or washroom you should wash your hands up past your wrists. Killing bacteria and viruses on your hands regularly stop them from getting inside your body and making you sick! Save on medical bills by washing your hands multiple times a day. When you wash your hands it is a minute or two of quite time you can think of me and wash the filth from your hands.
- Pay attention to free events in your area. Often you can get a free meals, stuff and even simply entertainment, by just paying attention to what is happening in your community.
- Live in a city? Use public transportation whenever possible. If you can’t use public transportation try carpooling. Going a long way? There are websites for car shares where you could pay a small amount for gas and get a ride from someone already going the same way.
- Read. Reading is free (use the library & the internet) and you can learn useful skills that will help you be a better minion. Even just working on your basic reading and writing comprehension will be good.
- Exercise more! It will help keep you fit and cut on medical bills over time. Plus you will have more energy and feel better over all!
Around the house:
- Once you have gotten rid of your cable you can sell your TV! Then you won’t be paying for the cable or the electricity it uses. Watch movies and TV on your computer and forgo the TV entirely!
- Do you collect things or have hobbies that require you to spend money? Playing video games, collecting nick-nacks, too much sissy clothing, traveling, buying the newest electronics or stuff for your car/truck… all of these things bring you pleasure but cost money. Cutting back as much as you can on these sorts of things can save you the most cash.
- Patch your clothing. Learning basic sewing is easy and can be done by hand. No need for an expensive sewing machine. Patch holes, re-hem pants, put on new buttons, instead of throwing things out. Except for your work clothes you don’t need nice things to wear, so its okay if the first things you patch make you look like a rag-doll.
- Clean out your closet, clean out your garage. Have a yard sell. Put things up on eBay. Get rid of things you are not using/don’t need and all that extra space will feel great and you will have cash in your pocket for me.
- Turn off your lights and other electronics when you are not using them. It’s important to not use power when you are not even using the device or in that room. Put everything on power strips so you can turn off the power strip when you aren’t using it. The only thing that should be one when you are not in the room is your refrigerator/freezer. Even just leaving something plugged in but off uses power, that’s why you put it all on power strips and flip the switch on the power strip to stop power from being used by those devices.
- Invest in and install LED lights in every socket in your house. The initial investment might seem a little costly but LED bulbs use about %2 of the electricity that incandescent bulbs use. That’s a HUGE difference!
- Install a programmable thermostat if it’s possible in your home. It’s not hard to do and can save you quite a bit! Do some research and find out more information yourself on this one.
- Clean the air filters in your house and in your car. When you use the AC/heating in your car or home the air passes through a filter and that filter gets filled with nasty gunk. Cleaning it out will help the air flow better, save on electricity/gas and save you money! Not to mention, the air your are breathing/the air in your car will be cleaner!
- Make sure to maintain your appliances. Check for dust or gunk dust clogging them and keep them clean. Look behind the appliances, and use your vacuum to gently clear away dust. Check vents, especially on refrigerators, dryers, and heating/cooling units. The less dust you have blocking the mechanics of these devices, the more efficiently they’ll run (saving you on your energy bill) and the longer they’ll last (saving you on replacement costs).
- Learn how to fix things around the house! The internet is a great resource for learning out to fix simple things like clocks, vacuums, and other basic stuff around the house.
- Do you have a little bit of a yard? Use it to garden! Save on produce by growing your own vegetables.
- Weatherize your home. Air sealing can make a huge dent in that heating/cooling bill. There is a great guide for this here: http://energy.gov/public-services/homes/home-weatherization
- Get your expensive electronics on a surge protector. Especially things like your computer and TV. If you get an electrical storm or power surge there could be serious damage to these important items.
- Make sure you are taking advantage of every perk your job offers. Perhaps you could do something to get on a better retirement plan, get health insurance, or other benefits.
- Find any odd-jobs you can. Offer to mow lawns in the summer, shovel snow in the winter and clean your neighbors houses for a little cash on the side. Take any extra hours you can at work. If you are offered double time to work a holiday, do it!
This list is HUGE but anyone can take 5 points from this list and make some positive changes to their cash flow. Saving, spending less on yourself, living a healthier more simplified life, will result in you being a happier person and a better sub.
(Read these sources yourself and search online for other guides to living on the cheap and spending less.)